“If the solar system was brought about by an accidental collision, then the appearance of organic life on this planet was also an accident, and the whole evolution of Man was an accident too. If so, then all our present thoughts are mere accidents—the accidental by-product of the movement of atoms. And this holds for the thoughts of the materialists and astronomers as well as for anyone else. But if their thoughts—i.e. of materialism and astronomy—are merely accidental by-products, why should we believe them to be true? I see no reason for believing that one accident should be able to give me a correct account of all the other accidents. It’s like expecting that the accidental shape taken by the splash when you upset a milk-jug should give you a correct account of how the jug was made and why it was upset.”

C.S. Lewis (1898–1963), The Business of Heaven, Fount Paperbacks, U.K., p. 97, 1984.

It's Not Enough

Don't you ever wonder why it is that you long for something; for those things that you don't yet have? And then you get it? And not long after you get it you find that you're longing for something else?

Have you figured out why that is?

C.S. Lewis did and so has every Christian on the planet. Lewis wrote, “If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

We want and want and want, never seeming to understand that our deepest desire cannot be filled by anything this life can give. We continue to be unsatisfied after the new car, unsatisfied after the new love (I'm certain that 99.9% of love songs are written within two months or less of the start of the relationship), unsatisfied after the promotion.

The things of this world cannot give you what your soul longs for the most. And what your soul longs for the most is a healed and forgiven relationship with Jesus, your Creator.

I'm Afraid of Jesus

You wouldn't believe the number of Christians who are scared of Jesus. Sure, they've prayed a prayer asking for forgiveness, and they've maybe even been baptized. But do they “follow” Jesus? Do they do what He says regarding relationships and money and issues of integrity? Nope. And you know why? It's too scary. They're afraid of what He might ask of them.

I get that. Been there, done that, as people used to say.  If you haven't tried stepping out in faith, if you haven't trusted Jesus enough to obey Him, then you don't know from experience that He is good. Not safe, as C.S. Lewis would caution, but He is good.

You see, Jesus asks us to die to self. He asks us to turn our backs on what the world says we can't live without. He asks us to trust Him. Sadly, many, perhaps even most of those who call themselves followers of Jesus trust the world's vision of security and value rather than trusting their Saviour. But think about this!

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?

Romans 8:32

Seriously? You think we can't trust our Lord, Creator and Saviour? He's held nothing back. He's paid the price for our sins at His own expense. You don't need to doubt the love of someone whose own blood has been spilled for your good.

. So, what if you stopped worrying about whether Jesus is going to make your life difficult? Life IS difficult regardless of whether you're a Christian or not. As the saying goes, "In this life you will suffer. You will either suffer with Jesus or without Him. 

. So, what if you allowed yourself to realize that just on the other side of what Jesus asks of you lies a life that's better than you ever imagined? Jesus and the presence of His Holy Spirit changes suffering into something that cannot destroy us. 

. So, what if just on the other side of your fear lies a life that is full and abundant beyond description? 

. And then, what if you acted upon that belief? How would your life be different? I can tell you how it would be, and so can millions of others who have taken this step. Casting all your anxieties upon Jesus creates the most amazing life possible.

Jesus longs to give us a good life. He died to give us the best existence possible.

You know at a fundamental level that what the world offers stands no chance of delivering on its promises. You know that. So what are you waiting for? What have you got to lose? Take hold of Jesus' hand and with eyes wide open step into a life of obedience. To trust and obey is not a leap in the dark. Rather it's a step into the light. 

Friday's Thoughts on Marriage

The 3rd in a series:

"Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken, If you want make sure of keeping your heart intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an pet. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all relationships; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to the risk of tragedy is damnation.”

C.S. Lewis

One thing that years of marriage counselling has done to me is make me ashamed of men. Of course, a Counsellor doesn't get to see those men who are at the top of their game. I only see those who, well, let me just say that I've become a tad jaded and cynical about humans in general and men specifically. I, and most of the men I've met are the working definition of selfishness. To live with us is truly a commitment to more frustration than anyone deserves.

For centuries, at least in cultures that were shaped by Christianity, the most valued characteristic of manhood was self-control, even self-mastery. A man who lacked control, a man who drank and ate and caroused to excess, a man who was not fit to rule himself was certainly considered unfit to oversee any type of business or government, let alone a family. As Christianity has taken a back seat to those who deny God's existence or who are at best functional atheists, that's all changed.

Every year News Reports of reckless and self-indulgent conduct of our politicians and business leaders reminds us that sexual restraint is no longer the sign of a man of valued character. Believe it or not many say that times have changed for the better; “transmitting selfies” of one's penis to a woman (not your wife) or even a series of women gets a wink and a nod and the man can actually be reelected.

While most of the marriages I see are damaged mostly by the men, women are by no means innocent. The mantra today for both men and women is something like, “Love me as I am.” On the other hand people understand, but only dimly and in a very limited way, that if both of you want a relationship with someone who doesn't want nor demands personal change, if both of you want someone who is genuinely “low maintenance” then you are both looking for someone who essentially doesn't exist.

I have never seen a time when so many people, again both men and women who are not so much in love with the person they long to marry, or who they are about to marry, as they are in love with a figment of their imagination. They're not marrying the person as s/he is, but as they want h/her to be. Since they're are dimly aware that who they want (the perfect match) doesn't exist (as adverstised by online dating companies), people today as never before face marriage with fear. Rather than determining to treat another human-being with loving behaviours - for life - men and women today are looking for a good fit. They're looking for someone who will be compatible; a soul mate, whatever that's supposed to mean. This unrealistic set of expectations frustrates and scares everyone involved because at some level everyone sees that based upon these parameters, relationship breakdown is almost inevitable.

Rather than being a venue for character change and for building a safe place for children to grow (Biblical Marriage), marriage today is supposed to provide fulfilled emotional, spiritual and sexual desires. As a result, idealism and pessimism go hand in hand and the fear of marriage causes most couples to “play house” instead. They can neither accept the person who is before them, nor can they accept loneliness. In fact many mistake the fear of being alone with the ability to love. So they live together in a common-law relationship until someone better comes along. Strangely, Biblical marriage is shunned because it is viewed as oppressive, and then, again strangely it's traded for the oppressive, fearful and hopeless life of “we'll be together as long as we both make each other happy.” In reality, people are afraid to marry anyone too much like themselves: selfish and grumpy, someone who judges others by their behaviours while judging themselves by their intentions.

Because of the new ideas of how two people should “love” each other, this failure by design ensures that marriage is no longer a shelter from the storm. Rather it's two people waiting for the expected and inevitable deterioration of the relationship.

This simply does not need to be the case. Our quest for individual freedom, independence and “self- fulfilment” flies in the face of the reality that any relationship where real love is enacted means the voluntary giving away of all three.

On the one hand you want someone who accepts you as you are. On the other hand you know that you have flaws that need to be changed. You know that anyone who has to live with you will desperately want to change those flaws.

Biblical marriage understands these dynamics and Biblical marriage understands that without accepting this reality, we will not know what it means to be loved nor what it means to love another human being.

More on this next Friday.

Where Were You?

“We must picture hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives in deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment.” C.S. Lewis.

Have you ever wondered what your grandchildren will say when they review history and ask:

“Where were you when many millions of children were sold into slavery and when children died by the tens of thousands EVERY DAY because they didn’t have enough to eat?”

“Where were you when the weak and the voiceless and the vulnerable had no one to speak for them, to protect them, to rescue them. Where were you?”

“Did you show up grandpa? Did you do what you could to protect children or did you support the very industries that sexualised kids all in the name of tolerance? Grandma, did you help the industries that make money from the sexualizing of children? Did you do nothing like most of the people, mom and dad, or did you resist evil? Did you fight it? Did you work to defeat evil or did you, like atheists, pretend that evil doesn’t exist?”

What difference might it make if each of us rejected Lewis’ description of hell as a way of life and instead gave ourselves fully to the things that matter; if we sacrificed ourselves in the service of others?

What would happen if we lived Jesus' definition of love?

I'm going in for a Total Shoulder Replacement tomorrow so this will be my last post until I can type again.

I'm reading a really good book on marriage and came across this quote by C.S.Lewis. The context is addressing our demand for retaining freedom even as we marry another.

"Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to a pet. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable,impenetrable, irredeemable, The alternative to tragedy or at least to the risk of tragedy is self-damnation."

Our culture makes individual freedom, autonomy, and fulfillment, the very highest values, and thoughtful people know deep down that any love relationship at all means the loss of all three.

“Hell begins with a grumbling mood, always complaining, always blaming . . . it is not a question of God sending us to hell. In each of us there is something growing which will BE hell unless it is nipped in the bud.” 

C. S. Lewis. "The Great Divorce." 

The Warrior Jesus

Gentle Jesus

Peaceful Jesus

Jesus was all about love

Those are familiar terms, more familiar than “warrior” Jesus. Yet, at least for this stage of history, Jesus is more of a warrior than anything else. 

Although it's nothing like anyone will see when Jesus returns with undiluted wrath poured out against evil and those who have deliberately sided with evil.

For now, earth is enemy territory. It’s satan’s turf and the very coming to earth of God in the form of Jesus was the establishing of a beachhead deep, deep in enemy territory. From the time that He was born, Jesus encountered battle after battle. 

Atheists of course note how violent the Bible is, especially the Old Testament - actually only the Old Testament. In fact, Jesus uses the violence of humans toward one another to turn away from Him those destined for hell.

“One of the things that surprised me when I first read the New Testament seriously was that it talked so much about a Dark Power in the universe - a mighty evil spirit who was held to be the Power behind death and disease, and sin. The difference is that Christianity thinks this Dark Power was created by God, and was good when he was created, and went wrong. Christianity agrees. This universe is at war.”

former atheist, C. S. Lewis - Mere Christianity

Like Jesus, we too have been born into the midst of battle. There is no sitting on the fence. “Those who are not for Me are against Me,” said Jesus. There is no neutrality. You’re making a choice of sides even as you read this. Since that is the case, you may as well know, the Winner has already been decided. 

It’s been my experience that the more I know Jesus, the longer that I spend in relationship with Him, the more that I pay attention to my life with God, the more that I’m blown away by His generosity, His compassion, the willingness to forgive, to love and to wash me with His mercy and grace. It’s like He’s saying, “There is so much more for you to have. Come and take from Me all that you can enjoy.”

“If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are hard-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex, and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
C.S. Lewis - “The Weight of Glory”

Unbelievable

I remember reading about when C.S. Lewis had his eyes opened to the true reality of his nature. He was taken aback, as we all are when this happens to us, to have to admit how hard his heart was. In his atheist days he truly believed that he didn’t need God in order to be a good person. After he came alive Lewis was shocked by a self-will that was almost infinitely obstinate. His passions were beyond control as were his volatile thoughts and imagination. As Lewis describes us all, we are a den of wild beasts barely able to be governed.

What Lewis is describing can be summed up in the line, “Dog’s don’t bark at parked cars.” Both Jesus and satan pretty much leave the self-righteous alone. Those who think they are good people, both the religious and the non religious, don’t draw satan’s attention because they already belong to him. Neither do they draw Jesus’ attention for He said, “I have come to save, not the self-righteous but those who know and admit they are sinners.” And it is these sinners, those who grieve over their sinful nature that satan attacks / tempts most diligently. Repentance is the last thing that satan wants to see happen.

Until one tries to be good - especially as it pertains to pure motives - we simply can’t comprehend the extent of the overhaul that is required. On the journey to salvation we are forced to accept that even our “good” behaviours are “old nature” tools geared to manipulate and control our environment and our image of ourselves. We even use “good” behaviours to get from God what we want OR to con God into protecting us from what we don’t want.

Sin invades every corner of our being.

Of course after we’ve allowed God to show us the way out of this mess - everything changes. It strikes us as truly unbelievable that we once thought both we and the world were pretty decent places.

As we watch the transformation into a “new creation” unfold, the new nature staggers under the fact that either the world has dramatically changed or it is we who have changed.

I thank you Lord for showing us the true state of our being.