I'm a Coward

I had this person ask me once to see his sister who was in the hospital because of a drug overdose. No one seemed to know if the overdose was intentional or not. Anyhow, this guy was certain that she was near death because of her life-style and he was hoping that a counsellor could “change her” so that she could know what it was to experience peace and kindness in the days before she died.

I was torn. My counsellor burn-out, my cynicism, my gloomy, overwhelmed, drowning-in-the-pain-of-the-world wanted to tell him to forget it. Violent, angry, bitter, broken, hopeless and helpless people tend to die exactly the way they lived. As a teenager, her attitude will have been one where, if a school counsellor had told her, "Drugs and alcohol are slowly killing you," she would have responded, "That's okay. I'm in no hurry."  And now, here she was, at the end of her journey. And instead of telling him the truth, I let both of us believe the lie that change was possible and said, “Sure. What room is she in.”

It's no wonder Jesus wept. This sinful world is so very far from what we could have had.

Yes, I'm a coward.