O The Hurt!

I've said a few times over the years that all of our seven children are handicapped to one degree or another. In the world of children, being different is often not accepted. It was just last year that the two leaders in our youngest daughter's class declared to her, “You're too brown to play with us.” I guess to those two girls, her skin colour is also a handicap. Well, depending on the child's personality, not being accepted can result in push back which leads to even more rejection.

Last night I asked this precious child (age 7), “So who do you play with at recess?”

“Nobody plays with me. And that makes me happy.”

After a pause, as my heart was breaking, she asked me,

“Do you think it makes me happy?”

Sometimes I think I can't live through the pain. It's the absolute worst part of parenting. To say that this precious little girl survives by a dominant “screw you” attitude would be an understatement. I can see how she drives other kids away. I get that. But it doesn't hurt any less.

Our eleven-year-old son functions emotionally at about a four-year-old level. It's the four and five-year-olds in the neighbourhood that are his playmates. Digging in the sand box and driving cars will probably still be his favourite way to spend time even when he's twenty. Last week, one of his little friend's parents told our son that he was too old to play with their boy.

O the hurt!

As he's telling me this, and not smart enough to even be crushed or angry by this turn of events, R. said to me, “I guess I'll have to wait until he's eleven-years-old like me.”

Will my chest just explode with pain some day?

And then I wonder, how can Father God keep from destroying the whole lot of us? His Son, His only Son, perfect in every way, rejected and abused by us. Jesus, God the Son who seeks only to bring His Kingdom to earth; a Kingdom of justice and mercy and peace, is:

Lied to and lied about.

Mocked and ridiculed.

Betrayed and abandoned – by everyone - including His earthly family.

The greatest Love in the universe came to earth to allow humanity to do our very worst to Him.

And Father God watches. He looks on and allows His plan of salvation, which includes our rejection of His Love, to play out in ghastly form.

O the hurt!

And then people say, “I don't like God. He's too angry.” (sigh)

“I'm so sorry Father for who we are; for what we've done to Your Creation; for what we've done to You. I'm so very sorry for the hurt that I have caused You. For how I rejected you for the first thirty years of my life. Thank you for Your love, Your mercy, Your grace and most of all for Your forgiveness and for Your salvation. Thank you for absorbing my hurt, and returning to me instead, Your great and awesome Love.”