Jessica sucks John

Jessica Simpson, when talking about how disappointed she was that former boyfriend John Mayer told people about their sex life, said, “That’s not the John I knew.”

I've seen that in clients over and over and over and over. People become attracted to someone, usually for their looks or fame or money or charm or “S/he will make me look / feel good,” and immediately they imagine good traits that aren’t there and ignore harmful traits that are there.

That is why as the relationship matures what was once attentive is suddenly recognised as controlling. Carefree becomes irresponsible. Relaxed is later seen as lazy. Outgoing shows up as flirtatious. Oh so in love is really obsessive / desperate.

People like Simpson and Mayer and others that people seem to admire (and I do not get why that is) are in fact so relationally dysfunctional that they go full blast into relationships based on nothing but assumptions and wishful thinking. Simpson laments the fact that John speaks about their sex life when for most of those people, sex is all they have to offer a relationship. There is simply nothing of substance below the surface.

So, Yes Jessi. That WAS the John you knew. You just weren't willing or perhaps able to recognise it. And I know it sucks, but because emotional health attracts emotional health and emotional sickness attracts sickness, this isn't the last schmuck that you'll be with. Not by a long shot.