Friday's Thoughts on Marriage

This is number 12 in a weekly series I began on December 21^st/13 with a post called, “Married Forever?

Self-centredness will destroy your marriage! Does that surprise you? If it does you're in more trouble than you imagined. A self-centred spouse will always trigger resentment in the other spouse. What I mean is, the self-centred behaviours of one spouse will ultimately trigger self-centred behaviours in the other spouse. Self-centred is who we are – Unless we allow Jesus to change us.

The problem of course is that a self-centred character is blind to its own existence. What's more, our self-centred character is almost allergic to the same characteristic in others, especially one's partner. Our corrupt self-love triggers thoughts like, 'Why weren't you thinking about me? You should have been thinking about what I want. How could you not be thinking about me?' 

Only an obedient relationship with Jesus can create an other-centred focus that destroys self-pity.

The Holy Spirit Who displays a giving and serving character will bring about this type of maturity in you. Jesus' Spirit destroys pride and brings about a humility that exudes generosity and deals with the selfishness of others in a mature fashion. The Holy Spirit does not keep score. As seen by the reaction of the world to the mere word “submission,” it's easy to see that without the indwelling of the Spirit, submission is impossible.

If your only source of love is from other people, what happens when those people fail to love you? As the saying goes, “To what will you look to for help if not to that which is stronger than yourself?” The love that we need to give away in order to maintain and grow a healthy marriage must come from a source greater than ourselves.

Here is a reality of life, You will not, and cannot find happiness until you've placed your own happiness in submission to that of someone else. Not just for today but as part of a commitment, a life-long commitment to putting the well-being of at least one other person (hopefully that of your spouse) ahead of your own. 

Christian maturity does this, not in order to get in return, but simply to give. Freely we have received. Freely we are to give. This type of obedience to Jesus, because of what He has done for you, cannot fail to provide peace and contentment.

More on this next Friday.

Where Is Your Heart?

Jesus is quoted by Matthew, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

To put it another way, 'Show me where you spend your discretionary money and time, and I'll tell you what you consider most valuable.' Is it the distraction of sports? Clothes? Vehicles and recreational vehicles? How about mood altering chemicals? Vacations? Tools? Investments? 

The context of what Jesus was talking about is our human desire for more wealth than we need. “You cannot serve both God and money.” He could have added, 'Though most of you will spend your life trying.' When we are young, most of our money goes to acquiring “things.” As people age they start storing up money for when they retire. This, even though Jesus said, “How can it be of any benefit for anyone if s/he gains the whole world, yet loses h/her soul?” 

Well, there is no benefit to accumulating wealth, but that doesn't keep people from trying.

“The world’s 85 richest individuals now own as much as the poorest half of the 7 billion global population (that's 3.5 billion people), according to a report released by Oxfam on Monday. One per cent of the world's families now own 46% of the world's wealth.”

I doubt that any of those people would stumble across this blog, but we regular people are no different. Any person within reach of a key-board is richer than most people in the world. And we want more! As Buddha is reported to have said, “No matter how much you have, a time will come when you will say, “this is not enough.”

Herbert Marcuse has said, “People have been seduced into a comfortable, attractive, tasteful, fully enjoyable, form of slavery. This is the worst kind of slavery.”

We are slaves to ease of living. We work feverishly to pay for things we don't need. We honestly believe that security can be found in storing up “treasures” for ourselves here on earth, where they inevitably deteriorate into junk. And by we, I am now talking about Christians. Or at least those of us who call ourselves Christians. So far is the behaviour of Christians from the teaching of Jesus the Christ that Pope Francis said today, "I ask you to ensure humanity is served by wealth, and not ruled by it." 

It can't go on. It won't go on.

Jesus came to bring a Kingdom of generosity, and fairness, and decency among humans. He expects us, as His followers, to end discrimination and present to the world a mighty river of mercy. We are to care for the poor, not blame them for their fate. We are to care for orphans, not kill them before, or in some cases (see atheist Peter Singer) even after they're are born. “Any foetus is less human than an adult pig.” atheist Richard Dawkins

We are so terribly far from where we need to be, and God promises that there is going to be hell to pay because of our negligence and greed and our pure unadulterated self-love.

And for what? What exactly does an accumulation of wealth bring us? Not what we expect it to bring; that's for sure.

“Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry right past it.” Kierkegaard