Friday's Thoughts on Marriage

This is the 7th in a series that began December 21^st/13 with a post called, “Married Forever?”

Last week I ended with the statement, “I maintain that without knowing the secret of marriage that Paul describes for us in the New Testament, no marriage can reach the level of fulfillment for the couple, and glorification of Jesus that it was intended to attain.”

The Secret of Marriage? I read through the whole Bible once a year, every year. It's taken me nearly two decades to get what Paul is talking about. Not because it's such a difficult concept, but because I simply could not sink below the surface of what he was saying. Its kind of like -

Paul says clearly, “I'm talking about Christ and the Church.”

I blink my eyes and say “Huh?”

“I'm talking about Christ and the Church (the body of believers). Husbands, love your wives just as Jesus loves the Church and gave Himself up for her.”

“Oh, you're talking about Christ and the Church! . . . Huh?”

Now I get it. Then I didn't. Mostly probably because I didn't want to hear what his words meant. I've since seen that many Christian husbands don't want to get it. Paul is saying that the secret to our role in marriage is to do for our wives what Jesus did to unite all of us with Himself. He gave Himself up for us. Jesus IS the greatest Being to ever exist. He is the Creator and sustainer of life and the universe itself. And then He gave up His glory, became a human-being, died on a Roman cross and paid the penalty for our sins.

He loved us.

He served us.

He gave up His rights as Creator God so that our needs might be met.

That kind of sacrifice made possible an intimate, healed and forgiven relationship with Him and He says to us husbands, 'THAT is how to do marriage.' Jesus and the Church is what God had in mind when He ordained way back in Genesis that, “A man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one.”

That's the secret that Paul is talking about. That is what keeps Biblical marriage from being oppressive as the world imagines it to be. In Biblical marriage the husband, under Christ, is the Spiritual Leader of the home. As such, the husband gives himself up and models for the family:

. Submission

. Love

. Mercy

. Kindness

. Patience

. Self-control

. Faithfulness

. Forgiveness

. Gentleness and

. Servant-leadership

Because God had this picture of salvation in mind when He instituted marriage between man and woman, the marriage can only be successful when each partner loves the other in a self-giving love.

Jesus said, “I did not come to be served but serve and to give My life . . .”

I often tell people (Christians) whose marriage is struggling, “If you try to fix this marriage, you will fail. If instead, you focus solely on repairing your relationship with Jesus (not your partner's relationship but your relationship), loving Him and obeying Him, the restoration of your marriage will follow as naturally as dawn follows the dark.”

Do for your spouse, what Jesus did for you and your marriage cannot fail.

More on this next Friday.

How Many Murders Is Enough?

What do you think it does to a society when it supports the murder of almost 2 million children a year? Do you think it makes us less caring? Do you think it numbs our sensibilities which in turn allows us to ignore even greater abuse of one another?

Did you know that if only 1 person in 10 who call themselves Evangelical Christians adopted one child who needs a home, every child in North America now in care would have a home?

Did you know that?

The New Testament tells us that because of the rise of wickedness, as history winds down, “the love of many will grow cold.” The writer is talking about the diminishing love of those who self-identify as followers of Jesus.

If we who profess to be Christians won't take care of the most helpless among us, who will? 

Jesus claimed to be the great I AM -

. “I am the Good Shepherd.” Jn.10:11 - But the Old Testament says that Yahweh is our Shepherd
. “I am the Judge of all men.” Matt.25:31ff Jn.5:27ff - But the Old Testament says that Yahweh is the Judge of all nations.
. “Father, glorify me, in your presence with the glory I had with You before the world began,” Jn.17:5 - But in the Old Testament Yahweh says that He will not give His glory to anyone except Himself.
. “I Am the Bridegroom,” Matt 25:1 - But the Old Testament uses this term only for Yahweh
. “I am the first and the last,” Rev.1:17 - But this is the exact term that Yahweh uses of Himself in the Old Testament.
. “I am the light of the world,” But the Old Testament says that Yahweh is the light of the world. 
. “Before Abraham was, I AM,” But the Old Testament says that Yahweh is the great I AM.

The religious leaders wanted Jesus to be killed because they clearly heard Him claim to be God.

Jesus claimed to be equal with God:
. “Son, your sins are forgiven.”Mk. 2:5ff - But the Old Testament says that only God can forgive our sins.
. “I have the power to raise the dead and to judge them also.” Jn5:25-29 “For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son also gives life to whom He wishes,” Jn 5:21 - But the Old Testament says that only God can give life and raise from the dead.
. “He who does not honour Me does not honour the Father,” Jn. 5:23 - But the Old Testament says that only God should be honoured.

The religious leaders wanted Jesus to be killed because they clearly heard Him claim to be God.

Jesus claimed to be Messiah - God
. Isaiah says of the coming Messiah, [He will be] “Mighty God, the everlasting Father.”
. Jesus says that prophecies from the Old Testament concerning Messiah were referring to Him and to Him alone. 
. “Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?” Jesus answered, “I Am.” The High Priest tore his robes and said, “What need of we for further proof. You have heard Him say He is God.”

The religious leaders wanted Jesus to be killed because they clearly heard Him claim to be God.

Jesus claimed to be worthy of worship:
. Even though both the Old and the New Testaments of the Bible forbid the worship of anyone or anything but Creator God, Jesus allowed people to worship Him. 
-In Matt. 8:2it was a leper whom Jesus had healed. 
-In Matt. 9:18 it was a rich ruler. 
-In Jn. 9:38 it was someone who Jesus healed of blindness. 
-In Matt. 14:33 it was His closest followers after He had done what only God could do - calm a storm. 
-In Matt. 15:25 Jesus allowed a Canaanite women to worship Him as did the mother of James and John which is recorded in Matt. 20:20
-In Mk. 5:6 A man who’d just be freed from a legion of demons worshipped Jesus. 

In all these cases Jesus allowed people to worship Him and to call Him God as though it was His due. Jesus considered Himself to be God Incarnate and 
The religious leaders wanted Jesus to be killed because they clearly heard Him claim to be God.

Jesus claimed that His authority was equal to that of God:
. One of the most famous portions of the historical record of Jesus’ ministry is Jesus’ promises to the people as found in the Sermon on the Mount and in His, “You have heard it said . . . but I say,” statements. He said that He was the Promise and the Authority and the people recognised that He spoke with authority, ‘Not as their teachers who quoted other authorities.’ Jesus told His followers that by His authority He was sending them out to tell others about God’s love as they had seen that love demonstrated through Him. Jesus pointed out that it was those who reject what He taught that would be condemned to eternal life in the total absence of God’s love. "He who rejects me rejects the Father." Clearly He taught that He was more than just a man.

The religious leaders wanted Jesus to be killed because they clearly heard Him claim to be God.

Jesus claimed that people could and should Pray “in His name:”
. “Whatever you ask in My Name, I will do it.” Jn.14:13. 
. Jesus explained what it meant to be asking for something “In Jesus’ name” when He said, “If you abide (walk, talk, live and exist in an ever increasingly intimate relationship with Jesus) in Me I will give you want you want.” Jn.15:7. 
. “No one comes to the Father but through Me. I and the Father are one.” We are encouraged to pray to God, but also to Jesus who is God.

The religious leaders wanted Jesus to be killed because they clearly heard Him claim to be God.

. The people who knew Jesus best, both His friends and His enemies recognised Jesus’ claims to be Yahweh. He demonstrated this fact by the things that He did. At one point Jesus said, “You don’t have to believe that I Am God by what I say, but you should believe that I Am God by what I do.” Why? Because the things that He was doing were not possible via natural means. They were supernatural. He fulfilled prophecy, He led a sinless life, He performed miraculous deeds, the greatest of which was His resurrection from the dead.

The religious leaders wanted Jesus to be killed because they clearly heard Him claim to be God.

As far as I can see, there can be only two reasons for making a statement like, “Jesus never claimed to be God.” 
First, the writer suffers from profound ignorance regarding the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. 
Second, the writer is a liar. 
There may be other reasons that I’m not aware of but the conclusion is the same, the writer is wrong at every level.

On the other hand, I guess Jesus had only Himself to blame. If He didn't want people thinking that He was God:
- He shouldn’t have claimed to be omniscient (Matt. (9:4), 
- He shouldn't have claimed to be omnipotent (Matt. 28:18) and 
- He shouldn't have claimd to be omnipresent Matt.28:20). 
And of course He shouldn’t have ever done things that only God can do like forgiving sins (Mark 2:1-12)raising the dead (John 12:9) creating the universe (John 1:3) sustaining the universe Col. 1:17) and judging you and I on whether or not we bend our knee in humble submission to Him as Lord, Saviour and Creator, (John 5:27). 

Now, the religious leaders of that day weren’t able to spend three very intense years being taught by Jesus so they weren’t able to conclude, as could His closest followers, that “The Word (Jesus) was God.” (John 1:1). 

Nevertheless, 
. The religious leaders of the day heard Jesus proclaiming Himself to be God. 
. Jesus’ followers heard Jesus proclaiming Himself to be God. 
. Jesus’ converts today numbering two billion strong, recognise Jesus to be God. 

You know how atheists rarely venture outside of the Old Testament lest they run into teachings of Jesus that convict them of a deep need for forgiveness? And you know how atheists accuse Christians of cherry-picking verses to make our case? Do you think atheists ever do the same thing? For example, have you ever seen atheists ripping this verse?

Hosea 14: 9 - Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand them. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.

Atheists and Chronological Snobbery

“Bronze-age Camel Herders.”

Ever hear that term?

If you have, you'll have heard it in reference to atheists and their sardonic ideas about people who wrote the Bible.

Atheists actually believe that we are not only more intelligent than those who lived several thousand years ago, they think that we're more morally advanced. In my opinion, one must be totally out of touch with reality to be able to hold those beliefs.

Those among us who display chronological snobbery actually believe that newness is automatically a virtue and that oldness is a vice. These people believe that there is a “Best Before Date” on truth. They fail to notice that truth and beauty and goodness are not determined by time. They fail to notice that ideas are not inferior just because they are “old” nor are ideas valuable just because they are modern.

Richard Dawkins says, “it's a sign of historical puerility to see the writings of one century through the politically tinted glasses of another.” Yet this is exactly how Dawkins reads both the Old and New Testaments. Sadly so too do those who follow the example of their High Priest. 

You know how atheists rarely venture outside of the Old Testament lest they run into teachings of Jesus that convict them of a deep need for forgiveness? And you know how atheists accuse Christians of cherry-picking verses to make our case? Do you think atheists ever do the same thing?  Do you think you will ever see or hear an atheist ranting about this?

Leviticus 19:10 - Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the alien. I am the LORD your God.

Immense riches are seldom possessed by leaders of countries or corporations without the oppression of their citizens, employees or investors. Immense riches are seldom gained without the willingness to rape and plunder the earth. Unlike their neighbours, and unlike our modern industrial societies, people in ancient Israel (those who atheists call dim-witted bronze-age goat herders) were to make sure they did nothing to take advantage of each other.

Peace, Mercy and Justice were then and are today to be the hallmark of God's people.

You know how atheists rarely venture outside of the Old Testament lest they run into teachings of Jesus that convict them of a deep need for forgiveness? And you know how atheists accuse Christians of cherry-picking verses to make our case? Do you think atheists ever do the same thing? Now atheists incorrectly associate Southern U.S. Slavery with the safety net slavery of early Israel. That is why you will never see or hear an atheist ranting about this?

Ezekiel 36:26-27 - I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.

The Bible Sanctions Slavery? Mmm, nope.

"all of the specific references to slavery in the Bible seem to sanction it.

This is a statement that you can read in a recent post. Either this person is Biblically illiterate and is simply throwing out statements about which he knows nothing at all. Or, I would have to suppose that he is deliberately trying to mislead those who would love to believe what he’s just said.

It’s true that slavery in New Testament times, and Old Testament times for that matter, was a fact of life. It still is a fact of life in most countries in the world. But it certainly wasn’t acceptable for Paul, Jesus or any of the other New Testament writers. So why didn’t Jesus spend His time on earth trying to rid the world of this despicable practice? Well, He did, in a way. In fact He brought freedom from the effects of slavery to any and to all who wanted that freedom. You see, Christianity is about a relationship with one’s Creator that brings freedom despite circumstance. Jesus says that a life of integrity, meaning, context and purpose can be had no matter what one’s station in life, no matter what one’s race, no matter what one’s nationality, no matter what one’s gender. In one particular passage, Paul is addressing slavery when he says, "Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you . . ."

I suppose that if you stop there, you could have the beginnings of a case that Jesus thought slavery was no big deal. However Paul goes on to say, "although if you can gain your freedom, do so" 1st Corinthians chapter 7. Paul is saying, ‘slavery is not good, escape it you can; but neither is slavery the most important thing in this life’. Paul is saying, ‘don’t be distracted from the most important thing in life, by something that is less important’.

‘There are no references in the Bible that don’t sanction slavery’? Hardly! In fact because of the way that slavery is usually carried out, Paul announces in 1st Timothy 1:10 that 'those who take part in the trading of slaves will deserve eternity in hell'. The reason I say, "The way that slavery is usually carried out," is because slavery in ancient Hebrew society served as an important social safety net. There wasn’t any welfare system. There wasn’t any unemployment insurance. Many times, the only way to feed oneself and one’s family was to sell oneself into slavery. Nevertheless, human nature led back then, and has led right up to the present day to horrendous abuses. This is the world that we have chosen to create for ourselves.

Since all people are desperately wicked, desperately wicked people are all God has to work with. That is why He laid down guidelines for the ‘given’ practice of slavery in ancient Hebrew culture. God works with us where we're at. That is why it's foolish to judge 1st century Israel through the lens of 21st century America. Jesus is saying to those who lived in a society where slavery was normal practice, "Masters, treat your slaves in the same way [with respect]. Do not threaten them, since you know that He who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with Him, Ephesians 6:9. And Colossians 4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

Is slavery as it is usually carried out supported or sanctioned in the Bible? Absolutely not. Is it accepted as a fact of life? Yes. God has accepted, for a time, the world that we have chosen for ourselves. And to that end, just like cancer, earthquakes, war and other events that bring difficulty in our lives, God provides a means of coping in a healthy manner with things that can’t be changed.

The Warrior Jesus

Gentle Jesus

Peaceful Jesus

Jesus was all about love

Those are familiar terms, more familiar than “warrior” Jesus. Yet, at least for this stage of history, Jesus is more of a warrior than anything else. 

Although it's nothing like anyone will see when Jesus returns with undiluted wrath poured out against evil and those who have deliberately sided with evil.

For now, earth is enemy territory. It’s satan’s turf and the very coming to earth of God in the form of Jesus was the establishing of a beachhead deep, deep in enemy territory. From the time that He was born, Jesus encountered battle after battle. 

Atheists of course note how violent the Bible is, especially the Old Testament - actually only the Old Testament. In fact, Jesus uses the violence of humans toward one another to turn away from Him those destined for hell.

“One of the things that surprised me when I first read the New Testament seriously was that it talked so much about a Dark Power in the universe - a mighty evil spirit who was held to be the Power behind death and disease, and sin. The difference is that Christianity thinks this Dark Power was created by God, and was good when he was created, and went wrong. Christianity agrees. This universe is at war.”

former atheist, C. S. Lewis - Mere Christianity

Like Jesus, we too have been born into the midst of battle. There is no sitting on the fence. “Those who are not for Me are against Me,” said Jesus. There is no neutrality. You’re making a choice of sides even as you read this. Since that is the case, you may as well know, the Winner has already been decided. 

Of Dogs and Parked Cars

Unaware that we live in a universe at war, atheists make no connection between those on the side of God and the attacks / temptations which those people must endure.

Both the Old and Newer Testament are to a large extent documents detailing that war. They describe the relentless push of good against which even the gates of hell will not prevail. The battle is not against original sin but for original glory. 

The battle has been won. satan, evil, those on the side of evil and those who remain in belligerent opposition to their Creator are on the verge of being banished from God's Kingdom. All that's left is giving one last opportunity for God's enemies to surrender. Interestingly, this opportunity for God's enemies to come to salvation, to find and receive life, will come at the cost of multitudes of lives of God's people. (See Revelation 6:10,11). 

The birth of Jesus was in fact an invasion deep into enemy territory. Demons, sickness, death, violence, abuse, hypocrisy, war involving Israel and the Church - these are not peripheral to the world. 

In point of fact, the world is peripheral to the war against Israel and the Church. 

Every attempt to push back poverty and sickness, every move to end war within the home or between nations is a battle against evil and a move toward the kind of world that we all desire. 

satan has come to steal, kill and destroy. Those on the outside know nothing of temptation. In fact they experience so little temptation that they think they’re good people.

Just as dogs don’t bark at parked cars, satan has no need to disturb the comfortable delusion of goodness to which atheists cling. 

Of Dogs and Parked Cars

You've probably heard the line, "Dogs don't bark at parked cars"?

Unaware that we live in a universe at war, atheists make no connection between those on the side of God and the attacks / temptations which those people must endure.

Both the Old and Newer Testament are to a large extent documents detailing that war. The war can be described as the relentless push against evil, against which even the gates of hell will not prevail. 

The battle is not against original sin but for original glory.

The birth of Jesus was in fact an invasion deep into enemy territory. Demons, sickness, death, violence, abuse, hypocrisy, the war involving Israel and the Church. These things are not peripheral to the world. The world is peripheral to the war involving Israel and the Church. satan has come to steal, kill and destroy. Those on the outside know nothing of temptation. In fact they experience so little temptation that they think they’re good people.

Just as dogs don’t bark at parked cars, satan has no need to disturb the comfortable delusion that atheists cling to. 

The corrupt self-loving thought, “I don't need God in order to be a good person,” doesn't even require a “woof.”

What’s The Point?

In response to an atheist's charge of hypocrisy in the Church, someone once replied, “A Church that admitted only Saints would be like a hospital that admitted only healthy people. It would be a lot easier to run but I’m not sure that it would be serving the purpose for which it was built.”

Even if it’s unrealistic to expect a Church with only Saints, what IS the purpose of the Church? In my mind the job of the Church is to take the spiritually lost, whom God has called, and lead them from salvation to spiritual transformation, i.e., we’re to teach people how to become disciples of Jesus. Sadly, even with that awesome goal in mind, we are doomed to fail - to varying degrees. And why will we fail? Well, we’re fallen creatures, and that fallen nature causes us to mistake the less important issues for the most important.

Leith Anderson -
“While the new Testament speaks often about Churches, it is surprisingly silent about many matters that we associate with Church structure and life. There is no mention of architecture, pulpits, lengths of typical sermons - or sermons at all for that matter. There are no rules for having a Sunday school. Little is said about the style of music, order of worship, or times of Church gatherings. There were no Bibles as we know them, nor denominations, no Church camps, Pastor’s conferences, or board meeting minutes. Those who strive to be New Testament Churches must seek to live its principles and absolutes, not reproduce the details. Those details are simply not given.” (Emphasis mine)

And why aren’t those details given? Obviously because they are not the most important things to know about the life and functioning of the Church as it “makes disciples of all nations.” In fact, when those things become the most important things in the minds of congregants we begin to turn on each other. And we begin to turn on each other because the most important aspect of why the Church exists is being left out of our own lives. When what we wear and how we sing take centre stage in importance, we and those around us are not and indeed cannot be transformed into the kind of people who are able to recognise and focus on being conformed into the likeness of Christ as the only reason that God called us to salvation in the first place (see Romans 8:28,29).

When spiritual transformation (growing into Christlikeness) is left on the shelf, we fall into the trap of thinking - no - we fall into the trap of BELIEVING that what we wear (Pastor included), or what type of songs we sing, or how we pray are the important things, when in fact they are secondary at best. I assure you, if I can’t worship because the style of music is not my favourite, the problem is not on the platform; the problem is in my poorly adjusted soul.


Jesus told Mary that “Only one thing is important” and that is getting to know (become like) Him.


Of course when we’ve come to treat external appearance as more important than internal transformation, we succumb to the temptation to crush those who worship in what we think is the wrong “fashion.” Believing secondary issues to be essential issues is what creates mean and angry Christians and it’s what causes us to fail in our primary mission - that of spiritual transformation.

Fundamentalist Churches try to overcome this problem by focussing on getting people out of hell and into heaven. The more the merrier. The problem is, when failing to make people disciples of Jesus, we act as though people can get into heaven without the character of Jesus even being part of who they are. This is no small error.


Jesus will say, “Get away from Me. I never knew you.”


“We have our standards!” That was said to me a few short weeks ago as I worked with a member of our Church. This fellow was incensed regarding a young man in the worship team who wore sandals with no socks, a shirt with no collar and he played the guitar “like something you’d find in a club downtown.” This fine upstanding Christian (that’s sarcasm) is always dressed right and sings only the right kind of songs. His kids are afraid of him and his wife wants to leave him. While making sure that he gets it right on the non essentials, he fails completely on exhibiting Christlikeness. He might believe he’s ready to go to heaven when he dies, but he has no clue about how Jesus wants him to live while he’s here on earth.


“I don’t want your offerings. I want mercy.”


Any congregation where spiritual transformation has become a secondary issue will find a love grown cold among its members. There will be generations of family bitterness and jealousy. Resentment over something the Pastor said or did years ago will infect the whole nature of the person. And this misalignment of the soul will spill over to the whole congregation as satan gains a giant foothold from unacknowledged anger. These Christians, dressed so they’re ready to meet their King and who sing beautiful harmony (actually these people usually don’t sing; they stand with their hands stuffed into their pockets or with arms crossed their chest, fuming about those who might not be “worshipping” correctly), have no idea how to "love others as I have loved you.”

Yes, Churches ARE spiritual hospitals for the spiritually sick (that means all of us). But how in the world can people decide to follow Christ if they’ve never seen Him in the lives of those who claim to follow Him?

We’ve Got a Problem

In the New Testament there is a solid, clear, easy to follow theology of suffering. It’s one that, like God, does not destroy evil. Rather it defeats the power of evil.

Problem: In most cases we ignore this path that is laid out for us.

On our own and in a perfectly natural, logical and “sane” manner, we do everything we can to avoid being hurt by others. Many who have been hurt by those closest to them even develop and live by a new creed, “I will never allow myself to be hurt again.”

Problem:
This is 180 degrees in the opposite direction from the path that Jesus took.
This is 180 degrees in the opposite direction from the path down which Jesus said, “Follow Me.”

Because of that, if we follow the path of avoiding relational pain, we will also miss the ONLY path that leads to emotional and spiritual health.

Hated without cause, mocked, lied to and lied about. Jesus, our example and character goal, came to earth knowing in advance that He would be abused, misunderstood, mistreated, rejected, insulted, betrayed and ultimately have humanity do our absolute worst to Him. Yet He entered into a covenant relationship with us anyway because He loves us. And then Jesus said, “Pick up your cross and follow Me (be like Me, do what I did, act like I did, relate to others like I did).

This is just one more of the many paradoxes of Christianity. Give up in order to get. Die in order to live. Lose in order to win. And the reason we’re told to do this is because, as it turns out, real life and real living, the abundant life, the full life is actually found down this path of pain. Sounds masochistic? How can it be? It’s what our Saviour lived for us and tells us to live as well - for Him. And because He loves us we can trust His advice, take His advice, live His advice. Those who have done this, those who have gone on before us tell us things like, “That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2nd Corinthians 2:10.

People who avoid relational pain are attempting to become strong, to become remain safe. However, like everything else we do because of our fallen nature, we do practically the opposite of what will work. The creed, “I will never allow myself to be hurt again” does not, in fact protect us from being hurt again. It cannot. All it does is create walls that shut people out and as a result causes even more and longer term pain.

Now, is it hard to do; to follow Jesus down this path? It will probably be the most painful thing that you’ve done to date. You will literally feel as though God is asking you to die inside. You will feel as though it’s too hard, too much, too unfair.

You’re not alone. You’re not the first.

“For we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about the affliction and oppressing distress which befell us in [the province of] Asia, how we were so utterly and unbearably weighed down and crushed that we despaired even of life itself (or as some think “we longed to die). Indeed, we felt within ourselves that we had received the very sentence of death but that was to keep us from trusting in and depending on ourselves instead of on God Who raises the dead.” 2nd Corinthians 1:8,9.

Dying to self in a healthy manner can only be done with the help and strength of Jesus your Saviour, but O my what dividends it pays in the area of emotional / mental / spiritual health.

In contradiction to the verse just quoted, many people distort 1st Corinthians 10:13 and say that God will NOT give us more than we can bear.
1. This verse is talking about temptation. God will give us an out from that which is tempting us.
2. God most certainly gives us more than we can bear or handle because only then are we driven to our knees in utter dependence upon Him.

Jesus cried out “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” He fell on His face in the garden in utter despair of ever escaping the path set before Him. His stress and agony was so great that a medical condition call hematidrosis set in whereby “In great anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” He called out, “Please don’t make Me go through with this . . . BUT if this is what you want Me to endure, then endure it I will - for Your sake.”

And there lies the secret. We are not called to, and we must not give in to the temptation to endure relational pain in order to “change” the other person. THAT is what leads to our emotional breakdown. Rather, “In all things, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory and honour of the Lord.” Do this, for this reason and the evil intent of others cannot destroy you. You will become stronger than you ever imagine possible. “Those who wait upon the Lord are like Mount Zion, unmoved by any circumstance.”

If I was asked to give the single most important interpersonal /spiritual / life changing principle that I’ve learned so far, this would be it. Grab hold of Jesus hand, and with eyes wide open and chest bared to the blast, step into the pain. Wade into the pain that others are about to throw at you and if you do this, not on your own but with your Lord and Saviour as your Guide, Counsellor and Comforter, you WILL come out the other side stronger than you ever imagined possible.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” Isaiah 43:1,2

That is why those who have gone down this path are able to say with confidence, “If God is for me, who can be against me? What can mere man do to me?” “No, in all these things (trials, suffering, difficulties) we are more than conquerors, through Him who loved us.”