When
I look back on all the couples with whom I’ve worked, I stand
amazed at the trend toward discounting humility, a trend that is increasing as
the generations roll by. Thirty years ago, Christians saw humility as
something to be sought after. Young couples today, Christian couples, no longer see humility as an esteemed and cardinal value.
And
yet it is the cultivation of selfish ambition and vain conceit that
is tearing at the heart of young marriages. Mimicking those they
watch in the movies with name calling, put-downs, an “I’m going
to do what I want and you need to get used to it” attitude, young
Christian couples are bringing into their relationships a failure by
design. And there is only one remedy.
“In
humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of
you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of
others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ
Jesus.”
The
Greek word translated as humility literally means “lowliness of
mind,” considering others as “More significant than” ourselves.
The humble person sees h/herself in right perspective before and
infinite, perfect, glorious Creator God and as a servant to others.
Counting others “more significant than yourselves” means not
being preoccupied with the self.
It
doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself. It means thinking of
yourself less often.
We
serve others, put their needs ahead of our own, work for their good
and do not repay evil for evil, or wrong for wrong.
Jesus
forbids despising and condemning others for their shortcomings while
failing to see one’s own glaring sins. Seeing our own sins is what
should humble us to the point of leaving others alone and working on
our own issues.
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