“Living Together, Better Than Ever”

That's a line from a song when I was a teenager. Ah the anticipated bliss.

Sigh.

Regular readers know that I'm talking with Hugo about the dangers for a long term marriage for those who live common-law before marriage. Of course, those who are doing this simply ignore the conclusion that study after study after study that has found; that the divorce rate for those who do live common-law prior to marriage is much higher than for those who do not. Why would this be?

Of course it's not the act or the behaviour of living common-law that's the problem. It's the attitude or the pattern of thought of those who choose this course of action. Hugo himself said it best, “"Living together is a great way to see if we are a good match."

Do you see the problem?

Those who go into this type of relationship to see if it will work never lose that perspective. Rather than a firm commitment to treat someone with love, the marriage becomes a perpetual state of testing. So when tough times come, and tough times will come, they receive this “information” with the interpretation of, “this is not working. I was wrong when I thought we were a good match.”

I teach high-school kids on Sunday Morning. We were talking about love as the world sees it and love as the Bible describes it. They did a pretty good job. Here's what they came up with.

Love from the world's point of view:

. Based on looks

“You're so beautiful”

. Obsessive

“I can't live without you”

. Possessive

“If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go.”

. Can you make me happy

. Can you make me look good

. False promises

“I'll love you forever”

Love from the Bible's perspective:

Patient, Kind, Not rude, Not Jealous, Not self-seeking, Not boastful or proud, Doesn't demand it's own way, Not irritable, Keeps no record of wrongs, Doesn't like injustice, Wants the truth no matter what, Never gives up, Endures through every circumstance.

What was particularly impressive for me is that these young people recognised that the high rate of divorce among those who call themselves Christians is that they are identifying as one type of person (a follower of Jesus) but they're living as another (not a follower of Jesus). Young Christian couples have been marinated in the culture that surrounds them and the result has been devastating, especially to their relationships.

The reason that Biblical love “never fails” is the same reason, as Hugo pointed out, that those in arranged marriages have a very low rate of divorce.

Biblical love, real love is a choice to treat someone with compassion, mercy, patience, kindness, tenderness etc.

Biblical love is not based upon physical attraction or emotion, both of which can and will diminish.

Biblical love is the willed, volitional desire to be good to another person. Nothing and no one, no circumstance or trial can force an end to Biblical love.

The trick of Biblical love however is that it can not be accomplished without the Spirit's power. Arranged marriages can last and some even grow into romantic love. Secular or atheist marriages can last and some even grow into romantic love. That's true.

Love empowered by the Spirit however takes that to a whole new dimension. Even if I could, I wouldn't go back for any amount of money.