When I look back on all the couples with whom I’ve worked, I stand amazed at the trend toward discounting humility, a trend that is increasing as the generations roll by. Thirty years ago, Christians saw humility as something to be sought after. Young couples today, Christian couples, no longer see humility as an esteemed and cardinal value.
And yet it is the cultivation of selfish ambition and vain conceit that is tearing at the heart of young marriages. Mimicking those they watch in the movies with name calling, put-downs, an “I’m going to do what I want and you need to get used to it” attitude, young Christian couples are bringing into their relationships a failure by design. And there is only one remedy.
“In humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”
The Greek word translated as humility literally means “lowliness of mind,” considering others as “More significant than” ourselves. The humble person sees h/herself in right perspective before and infinite, perfect, glorious Creator God and as a servant to others. Counting others “more significant than yourselves” means not being preoccupied with the self.
It doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself. It means thinking of yourself less often.
We serve others, put their needs ahead of our own, work for their good and do not repay evil for evil, or wrong for wrong.
Jesus forbids despising and condemning others for their shortcomings while failing to see one’s own glaring sins. Seeing our own sins is what should humble us to the point of leaving others alone and working on our own issues.