“Am I Good?”

After retiring, my wife worked for a time as a Teacher’s Assistant. One little boy who came from a really troubled home was barely tolerated by the teaching staff. He was a real pain in the butt - very disruptive. For whatever reason, my wife connected with this kid. She could see the awesome soul that remained hidden underneath the hyperactive, increasingly hard and annoying exterior. Against school rules, Wendy would place her hand on Todd’s* shoulders, stroke his hair, rub his back. One day, as she put her arm around him, Todd looked up at my wife and with a puzzled yet hopeful look on his face, he asked her, “Am I Good?”

Shame and guilt are such ubiquitous parenting tools. In many cases we even use those things to keep ourselves in line.

“What an idiot,”

“That was a stupid thing to do,”

“How clueless can you be,”

are just a few of the comments that people make to themselves when mistakes happen.

Even Christians are not immune. I’ve encountered many Christian clients who would be shamed, even repulsed to say to themselves, “Because of Jesus I possess greatness and glory.”

It’s as though they say, “I’ve been born again,” and not even know what that means.

Weird.

* I’ll call him Todd since that’s his name.