“That Kind Of Woman”

I remember working with a couple a few years back. She’d had an affair and got pregnant. They eventually reconciled but he expressed fear that people would know that his wife was “that kind of woman.” While exploring his motives for that comment was tempting (it may have been selfish or altruistic), something much more important was at stake. If they were going to survive that huge hurdle to their marriage, it would be imperative that they both understood that we are ALL “that kind of woman.”

I know that I’ve used this true story before, but it’s worth repeating. A Jewish holocaust survivor was sitting at the trial of a Nazi officer who was responsible for killing, not just members of the Jewish man's community, but his parents and siblings as well. During a break in the trial a news reporter observed this man with tears streaming down his face. Misinterpreting what he was seeing, the reporter asked the man if his were tears of rage. The man looked up and said, “Tears of rage? No. Not at all. These tears are because I recognised that the evil that resides in that Nazi also resides within me.”

Whether it's an affair or stealing or lying or whatever, our behaviours are not the problem. Our behaviours are only a symptom of the state of our soul; they are only a symptom of the state of our relationship with Jesus. Pick any sin that someone has committed and the only thing separating you or I and that person, that sin, that behaviour is circumstance. We cannot say with any confidence, that had we been in that situation, with our soul in that condition, that we would have behaved differently.

“If you think you stand, be careful lest you fall.” 1st Corinthians 10:12

We simply cannot stand in judgment of each other. Of course there are things that the woman shouldn’t have done. Of course there are things that the man shouldn’t have done. Of course God didn’t want the affair or the pregnancy to happen but to condemn each other, to stand in judgement of each other in a manner that holds each other hostage to guilt and shame and condemnation is simply not acceptable for a Christian couple.

There may be many things that God is trying to impress upon people when they go through circumstances like an affair, but loving and forgiving and compassion and mercy, instead of judging and condemning will most certainly be part of it.

If you long to find God’s peace and mercy and grace, then you have no choice but to Walk with God, Abide in Christ, and Know that you’re Loved with the greatest love in the universe.