While
you’d never guess it by looking at her, one of our friends has
Polynesian Ovaries. It’s a disorder that makes getting pregnant
more difficult. I know it’s hard to believe since Polynesians cover
a good portion of the earth. And how Polynesian Ovaries wound up in a
Canadian woman is beyond me. It must be some kind of evolutionary
mutation or something. Isn't it weird how some women find it so hard
to get pregnant and for others getting pregnant is easier than
falling off a piece of cake?
What’s
even weirder is that when I mentioned this during a yearly meeting in
a group for the intellectually gifted that I belong to, my membership
to this group, known as Menses, was cancelled.
And
if that wasn’t enough, my counselling load is way too high. I’ve
encouraged several clients to seek happiness by moving to a distant
city, all to no anvil.
My
wife is remaining obstinately oblivious to my marvellous sense of
humour (“If you have to tell me that it’s a joke then it’s not
that funny”).
I’ve
had a chronic Post Natal Drip since November causing me to cough all
night.
My
kids don’t want to eat anything but Krap Dinner. I guess my
parenting ‘best-before-date’ has long since expired.
Let
me just say that my mood has soured of late and I now look, to borrow
a phrase from Israel Shahak, for “encouraging signs of
polarization” where ever they may be found.
If
it wasn’t for the fact that I haven’t recently given birth, I’d
swear that I was sliding into a Post Mortem Depression. The best
thing to do is go flip on the TV and watch “The Young and the
Breastless.” If there wasn't such a stigmatism for watching the
soaps I'd invite a fiend over to watch it with me.
The
only good news is that the Katyusha Rockets are
back in town, after winning three out of four games on the road.
Well, the games weren't ON the road.
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