The Garmin Girl Affair

I’ve fallen for the GPS girl.

Unlike my wife, GPS woman caters to my weaknesses.

Unlike my wife, GPS woman’s tone of voice tells me that she is attracted to my incompetence.

Unlike my wife, GPS woman doesn’t care if she has to re calibrate, or calculate or whatever it is she says when I make her start over.

Unlike my wife, GPS woman doesn’t care if I talk to someone else while she is talking to me.

Unlike my wife, GPS woman has no unattainable expectations of me.

Unlike my wife, GPS woman is rarely wrong and in fact even when she seems wrong it’s really just a misunderstanding and lack of patience on my part. Actually, that's the same as my wife but - whatever . . .

Unlike my wife, GPS woman doesn’t talk unless I want her to talk. Sometimes even when I want her to talk, she won’t say anything - ANYTHING - that isn’t absolutely necessary.

Unlike my wife, GPS woman gets turned on just with the twitch of my finger. I don’t have to spend the whole day trying to be nice.

Unlike my wife, GPS woman seeks only to please me and asks for nothing that an immature man can’t deliver.

I’m sure that she’s really busy but I’m going to go and live with GPS woman as soon as I can figure out how to get a ride to her satelli . .

Ouch!

Unlike my wife, GPS woman doesn’t look over my shoulder while I’m typing.