Store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven
where moth and rust cannot destroy and thieves cannot break in and steal

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Now Is The Day of Salvation

Jesus says, “Today, if you hear My voice, do not harden your heart.

Come to forgiveness.

Come to freedom from real guilt.

Come home.”

Anonymous Atheist: No I can’t. I don’t have any choice.

Jesus: You do have a choice; a choice of eternal proportions. I’m offering you, right this very minute, the opportunity to spend eternity in heaven. There is no need for ANYONE to go to hell. As I said thousands of years ago, "I take no delight in the death of the wicked. So turn to Me and live." Some will choose to go to hell, but YOU do not need to make that choice.

Anonymous Atheist: Nope. I have no control over where I spend eternity. You are going to torture me in hell and that is why I hate you - for making me spend eternity in hell.

Jesus: I’m NOT making you do that. I’m telling you right now that I’ve already paid the penalty for your sins. All you have to do is accept that forgiveness.

Anonymous Atheist: Accepting Your forgiveness is a sign of weakness. I can’t do that. My fate is sealed. I don’t have any options.

Jesus: Yes you do.

Anonymous Atheist: No I don’t.

Jesus: Ok, have it your way.

Anonymous Atheist: See! That’s why I think that you’re a vicious bloodthirsty monster who sends people to hell.

Jesus: (Palm slap to the forehead)


  1. I love how you have to invite Jesus into your heart, like he's a vampire or something.

  2. Christian: Good news! The Bible says my god will throw or "cast" you into Hell unless you do some stuff acording to how I interpretate this here old book.

    Atheist: So, what's these Hell then?

    Christian: A place of everlasting torment and fire. A place where you will actually be eaten by firey worms! It's punishment and the worst place ever! Filled with so much pain that you'll be crying and grinding your teeth forever!

    Atheist: Woah! Sounds nasty, why did your god allow these evil place to be made?

    Christian: He didn't just allow it to be made, he made it!

    Atheist: Is your god evil?

    Christian: No! He's the most loving being ever. In fact, this book says He IS love.

    Atheist: Let me get this straight, you describe a being who created a place of torment and threatens to throw people into it - Loving?

    Christian: He loving because he had his son tortured instead. Actually his son is also him. Like the Bible says "without the spilling of blood, there is no forgiveness!"

    Atheist: Ok, you're saying this loving being can't forgive with the sheding of blood. Even I forgive people without requiring bloodshed.

    Christian: Blood must be shed. It's the rules.

    Atheist: Who's rules?

    Christian: My god's rules. He can't forgive you unless he kills his son, which is also him... It's totally beutiful. I love my god and worship him.

    Atheist: So you worship a being who created a place of torment and threatens to throw people into it and can't forgive people without bloodshed?

    Christian: Of course! Because it your own fault if He throws you into his pit of fire! All you have to do to escape it is call evil good, cease thinking, and follow my interpretation of this old book.

    Atheist: So how credible is the risk here?

    Christian: Well it's printed in a book and I'm pretty sure you can't print stuff in a book unless it's true. Secondly, you don't know everything! That gap in your knowledge... that's where God lives! Like - what happened BEFORE the big bang? You don't know therefore God did it! See how easy that is? Also, I don't understand probabliy, so the chances of this book being written by monkeys is really low or something - therefore God is real.

    Atheist: That's mostly nonsense and doesn't really point to your god being real.

    Christian: But I have this old book!

    Atheist: (face palm)

  3. That's funny. Good job. In a couple places you come pretty close to getting it right.

    So, let me get this straight. You aren't opposed to God ridding the universe of evil, just the way He's going to get the job done?

  4. No, that's not what he's saying.
    He doesn't believe in your gods.
    He's been talking about the people who do.

  5. Of course not. Because when God rids the universe of evil all who are on the side of evil and against their Creator will go with it.

    Good luck with that.

  6. Um, what?