“This, my friend, is a secret of secrets. It will help you to reap where you have not sown, and it will be a continual source of grace in your souls. For everything that inwardly stirs in you, or outwardly happens to you, becomes a real good to you if it finds or excites in you this humble state of mind. For nothing is in vain, or without profit to the humble soul. It stands always in a state of divine growth; everything that falls upon it is like a dew of heaven to it.”
Andrew Murry “Humility”
When our only goal is to “Love our Creator with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and our neighbour as ourselves,” then nothing that happens to us can do anything but strengthen the ability for love and peace and humility to develop. Having a love of our Creator as our goal releases or makes possible for God to bring about His only goal for us - to bring about a character like Jesus in us. Not just hardship, but especially hardship, suffering, loss, tragedy, pain etc. becomes the means by which we are grown into Christlikeness. “He was a man of sorrows, well acquainted with grief and suffering.” “Jesus learned obedience through what He suffered.”
Have the greatest commandment as your main goal in life and you no longer have to avoid tears. You no longer have to run from difficult relationships. You no longer have to miss the learning that comes only from situations that you used to spend your time squirming out of.
When you know that you are loved by God and your goal is to love Him in return, (“We love Him because He first loved us,”) you’ll soon find that Whatever is - Is ok.