Store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven
where moth and rust cannot destroy and thieves cannot break in and steal
Monday, April 1, 2013
Angle Head Hates Trees
viewed directly from above, with his forehead being 12:00, Angle Head
Hollister's bean goes from 6:00 to 9:00 as straight as though trimmed
off by a chainsaw – with only the slightest deference to 7:00 and
that's not the coolest thing about Angle Head. The coolest thing
about Angle Head is that when he was a kid, nothing could make him
cry. You could bang his head against a wall, or bonk him on the head
with the flat part of a shovel. Blocks of ice dropped from a severe
height, or even standing on his head would at most cause him to rub
his hand back and forth over the crooked lump that rested upon his
shoulders. Tough kid.
what it's worth, I knew enough to not actually be the one bonking or
standing on his head. Even kids with a reputation for never crying
sometimes reverse that trend, upon which adults become involved.
Sadly, maintaining a position of detached amusement is a lesson that
I forgot later in life.
out of high-school, Angle Head went into the forestry business in
thirty five years later, Angle Head Hollister hates trees – I mean
he really, really hates trees. Angle Head hates everything about
trees. He hates the choking clouds of pollen in the spring, and he
hates the roots that stick up through the undergrowth and trip you,
just as though they want you to fall on your axe. He hates trees so
much that on his land near Okotokes, Alberta there is not even a hint
of a tree. No brush, no bushes. All of the hundreds of trees that
used to reside on this beautiful piece of retirement property at the
edge of the Canadian Rockies have been cut down so close to the
ground that you have to be standing right on top of a stump to ever
know that something once lived on that precise spot. In fact, the
trees are so young when he kills them now, they could be used for
garnish instead of parsley.
far as I know, Angle Head Hollister never reversed his trend of
absorbing pain without crying. Tough kid.