Lot’s of people, even some who call themselves Christians think that if things are going well, then God must love them and if life is filled with sorrow and loss, then God must be angry.
God IS love. Jesus coming to earth to die for you proves it.
Our circumstances say nothing about your right standing with Him. He is the source of life for you and everyone else. It is His job to transform you into someone who resembles Jesus, and reality is, that transformation only comes under intense trial and tribulation.
Atheists of course want nothing to do with transformation. They want, no, they demand ease of life each day and every day and if it's not forthcoming they use that as an excuse to reject their Creator.
Just let go.
Let Him take you where you need to go and let Him change you as you need to grow. Let Him take the suffering that comes naturally with our time on earth and let Him defeat the evil inherent within that suffering. Creator God can be trusted absolutely. He will never do you wrong.
Just let go!