Caw Caw

Did you see? Researchers in Liverpool have discovered that the common Crow (little smaller than a Raven, little bigger than a Starling) is the only bird out of all the birds in the world who do not and indeed cannot involuntarily flap their wings. Unlike other birds, in order to fly, crows must tell themselves:

“Flap”

“Flap”

“Flap”

This curious anomaly was discovered when Professor of Zoology, Raymond Jaboeuf noticed that crows were unusually vocal while sitting on a tree or other perch but “said” almost nothing while flying. As well, Jaboeuf noticed that when crows did speak back and forth to each other while flying, both birds would descend rapidly in direct proportion to the amount of talking that took place. Obviously unable to talk and fly at the same time without great difficulty, “Female crows would sometimes almost plummet from the sky when carrying on about something.”

Examining the brains of crows in the laboratory setting showed a marked difference compared to resectioned portiones of other bird’s brains where wing movements are controlled. Mr. Jaboeuf explained, “While the brains of the common Crow are almost identical in size to the human brain, they have simply not evolved the ability to utilise wing movements without conscious control commands. This is much like a human male who must tell himself to flap his penis to rid himself of excess urine after peeing.”